The fearmongers are now going after that very British tradition: biscuits and tea!
An estimated 25 million adults have been injured while eating during a tea or coffee break – with at least 500 landing themselves in hospital, the survey revealed.
The custard cream biscuit was found to be the worse offender to innocent drinkers.
It beat the cookie to top a table of 15 generic types of biscuits whose potential dangers were calculated by The Biscuit Injury Threat Evaluation.
Hidden dangers included flying fragments and being hurt while dunking in scalding tea through to the more strange such as people poking themselves in the eye with a biscuit or fallen off a chair reaching for the tin.
The report quantifies the risk with following equation:
Biscuit Threat Injury Evaluation B.I.T.E. =
6PDKWST (1 – δ S CAP) + 9.9 ε S TB + 40FMX[1-ν 0.1NCH] + 1000 μ L + 400 [ α E NR + β E LR + ρ N CH]
No, the study has not been peer-reviewed, and yes, it is mostly likely a joke.
But will that prevent the politicians from requiring warning labels, or even mandatory helmet law for biscuit-eating minors?