Well, they are on to us! East Cobb residents have discovered the Secret International Conspiracy to make them move into apartments and ride bicycles:
Some east Cobb residents are crying foul at county design guidelines intended to improve Johnson Ferry Road, but county officials say the guidelines are a product of public input. The design plan and guidelines aim to create a walkable and biking-friendly community and were created after a series of meetings with residents and business owners.
Jan Barton, also of east Cobb, alleges the plan isn’t being driven by local effort but an international move toward more sustainable living. She points toward a non-binding United Nations initiative to create more sustainable, walkable and biking-friendly communities, called Agenda 21, that some Republicans and tea party members say will lead to a loss of local control.
“We have a bunch of people outside of Cobb County telling us we should be urban and suburban,” Barton said.
But that’s just the beginning! The All Powerful Bicycle Conspiracy is going to turn East Cobb into Copenhagen:
“Honey, take your bike, drop Susie off at her dance lesson, then go to Kroger and get a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a quart of half and half. Oh, and since you will be right there, stop at the cleaners and pick up your shirts.”
Of course it does, but if one puts any credence in the words of certain biking groups, the Complete Streets gang and the various interests pushing the Johnson Ferry Corridor plan and others like it, that type of conversation could very well be going on in Cobb County in the near future.
What is really ridiculous is that Susie can’t safely walk or bike on her own to the dance lesson….